I think it's time we talked aboout you and me. About Friendship. It’s something you think would have such a cut and dry definition! But it’s not. Friendships can be messy, headaches, and expensive! When I was preparing for the Spokesmodel Competition for NAM (to read about this, use this link http://njbnotjustanotherblog.weebly.com/life/august-05th-2016), I considered talking about the true meaning of friendship. Ultimately, I decided to talk about disabilities, but I still feel very passionate about sharing what friendship is all about, especially to girls. So I figured I’d share with y’all! I’ve experienced a lot of different friendships that have either helped me, or hurt me. From these experiences, I have realized that the true meaning of friendship is not about one person, but an exchange of love.
One type of friendship I have witnessed is self-centered friendship.
Self-centered friendship is a friendship all about me. It’s about what I can get from this other person, my “friend.” Some of the things people try to get are compliments, approval, access to the popular group, or access to their special gadgets. Friendships like these are manipulative. They are not based on love. From my experience, I have seen self-centered friendships like this turn on the other person. In an effort to force a friendship for personal motives, they lose their individuality. They start dressing the same, talking the same, acting the same as the other person, in order to make themselves more “likable.” The result is basically a clone. It’s a friendship made of two identical people. I have seen these kinds of friendships and this “clone” result all throughout my life. It seems like every other person is trying to get someone else to like them by being just like them. This is selfish and hurtful to both people.
Another form of friendship I have seen I like to call “Perfect Friendship.” These “perfect friendships” often aren’t real. We see them in Disney Channel sitcoms and in books. In these situations, a person magically meets their perfect BFF. They can read each other’s minds, are always together, and somehow know every quirky detail of each other. This idea is nice and some people actually DO have these relationships. But the issue I have with the entertainment industry constantly promoting “Perfect Friendship” is that it creates a false expectation of perfection. It can cause people to set their hearts on a type of friendship that is rare and prevents them from appreciating the people around them because they don’t fit a perfect mold.
When I was 10 years old, and throughout middle school, I would pray for this Disney perfect friend. When I could not find it, I thought there was something wrong with me! To build my confidence, I sought approval through self-centered friendship. However, I realized that this was not true friendship either.
I realized that friendship is not about me. Friendship is about giving to others. It’s about being supportive and caring. It’s not about creating clones, but about embracing a person’s unique personality while at the same time building their character. Friendship requires personal sacrifice. It’s about love. Of course, friendship goes both ways. So while I’m building up someone else, if they’re a true friend, they’ll build me up as well.
God created friendship to be empowering and beautiful and enlightening and fun! Realizing and accepting this meaning of friendship has affected my life so much because it has changed the way I interact with the people who shape my life.
The Kamau Sisters
Hi! We're Nia, Jada, and Bailey Kamau. We laugh, sing, read, and have Narnia marathons probably more than we should. Thanks so much for checking out our blog!
"Sisters by chance, friends by choice."
The Secret Life of a Homeschooler
How To Create the "Perfect" TeenPact Outfit!
Why Harriet Tubman Is Going To Be On the 20 Dollar Bill
The Finale of NAM Texas 2016
5 Study Tips to Get You Through
Words of Awesomeness: Quotes